The road to
happiness and emotional freedom doesn’t always require new skills.
Very often
the key to solve your problems is to stop certain habits that restrict access
to internal energy.
Get rid of what
bothers you, get to your true nature. In this article you will learn 10 things
you should quit.
1. Stop running from your problems.
And so they
come back, if you don’t take care of them properly. Running away from problems
isn’t the way to deal with them. Instead, take some time to think about your
current life challenges and think about possible solutions. Write a problem on
a piece of paper and start to ask yourself what you can do to resolve this issue.
In many cases it won’t be easy but the bigger the challenge, the greater the
learning that comes out of it. You can’t always resolve problems immediately,
but getting use to them makes a huge difference.
2. Stop pretending to be someone you're not.
What's the
point in creating artificial personalities, since they are just an illusion?
Even if someone "buys" what you're trying to create, it's still his
opinion. It won’t affect you. You should feel good being yourself. In the end, it's no
coincidence that those receiving the most attention, respect and love are the
ones that are the most authentic and true.
3. Stop lying.
And so this
never fails. Somewhere deep inside, you'll always know what the truth is. Lying
to yourself gives you a very short-term relief and an escape from the problems,
but in the long run creates mental pathologies and conflicts between
personalities. Be true to yourself and don’t be afraid to speak the whole
truth. Even if it isn’t convenient. This will build a strong and good relationship
with yourself, which is important in building your self-esteem.
4. Stop focusing on what you do not want in
life.
You get
what you give. Your thoughts and emotions is a form of energy that you are sending.
It comes back to you, though usually in some other (seemingly unrelated) life
situations. So if you focus your attention on the destructive thoughts and
emotions, the same will meet you in life. If, however, you begin to create
positive energy in itself, it becomes a reality for you.
5. Stop
putting your needs aside.
If you
can’t take care of yourself as you care for other people then .. In your life,
YOU are the most important and it's time you got used to the idea. Taking care
of yourself first - is another important foundation of self-esteem. Then take
care of others. A good relationship with yourself will give you the strength to
cope with the problems of others.
6. Stop wasting your time on things that do
not matter.
Do the
things that you do every day, both at work and after it, are important to you?
If not, remove them. The time that you have on this planet is limited, so truly
start to appreciate every minute of your day. If you can’t appreciate it now,
why would you assume that in the future it will change itself? Repeat-Your life
goes NOW. Determine what is important to
you and do not allow yourself to waste time on unimportant things.
7. Stop blaming others (and yourself) for your
problems.
Shifting
the responsibility on the outside is very convenient, but at the same time is a
very treacherous trap. When you have no responsibilities, you have no control.
And when you don’t control, you'll be helpless and you will expect that others
will change or solve your problems. If something is a problem for you, it's
because YOU perceive it as a problem. It isn’t anybody's fault, it's not even
your fault - accept it as the status quo and take responsibility for what is
happening. Take back control and think about what YOU can do to change it.
8. Stop
proving your value to others.
Do not
waste your energy on the demonstration of behavior, you can direct the same
energy to your interior. This will allow you to focus on building internal
relationships with yourself and building a strong belief in self-esteem. You do
not need to show others that you are fun, outgoing and confident.
9. Stop spending time with people you don’t
want to spend time.
It is
possible that you are in close proximity to people who are in some way inhibiting
your growth or suppress your positive approach to life. Don’t keep relationship
with them just because you fate intertwined with them, you're used to it and
you foolishly do not want to give up this relationship. Instead, surround with
people who can help you be who you are when you feel best. Establishing new,
healthier relationship doesn’t have to be time consuming, and probably will be
for you a source of greater joy in life.
10. Stop talking unpleasant things to yourself .
Listen to
your inner dialogue and see what you say to yourself every day. Are these positive, supportive and motivating words? Or
rather critical and unpleasant?. Change your dialogs using several effective
techniques. In addition, let your inner critic find your inner friend.
1. What do
you think of all these suggestions?
2. Do they apply to you?
Sources:
Cool tips. As usual it's easier to give them than applying into life.
ReplyDeleteGenerally I agree with majority of the points, however sometimes basically I don't have time to deal with everything on-fly. For example point number 1. I'm quite often postponing my private problems, issues for later time when I'm less occupied with work.
Or let's consider point number 6. Sometimes I'm so tired that the only thing I want to do are dumpest things like watching TV series or sitting in a garden with a pint of beer.
When applied common sense to all of the points and adding some exceptions to strict rules I think that list could improve everybodys lifes.
In my opinion they are quite good and usefull. Internet is full of motivational blogs,articles, videos, but from my point of view they will have influence only on already motivated people. :) If you do not feel that you can (yours "want" have nothing to do with that) change, nothing would change you.
ReplyDeleteI suggest to "quit" only ONE thing per week. If you think it is easy, I encourage you to try doing it and share with us your experience. I think this is difficult because our "minds" do not like change. Secondly our behaviour is in most cases unnoticeable for our brain, we just do something. Usually we do not think about every move we do and sentence we say.
If you would like to quit something in example "Stop pretending to be someone you're not." Most probably you would not be able to do that immediately, you just can't just stop pretending. If you would try your body and subconscious wont allow you to do that, because they are afraid of rejection and loneliness which could even mean death. It is quite normal, there is no reason that your body should allow you to hurt yourself :) If you are still alive that simply means your existing strategy is great and it shouldn't be changed.
Try convince not "yourself" but your subconscious that specific change is positive by taking small but regular steps it will be more profitable and permanent.
It is true that the internet is full of motivational blogs, articles and videos. Certainly these sites are frequently visited by motivated people but I don’t agree with this, that they affect only the already motivated people. This really can be learned.
ReplyDeleteAbout a year ago I couldn’t say that I’m a person motivated and optimistic. A situation and meet the right people in my path, meant that I became interested in this topic and read more and more.
Of course, you must want to change and if you don’t want to change anything, it's just your choice.
I agree with this, that it should be done gradually. It may take years or even a few years, but gradually we should have put these principles into our life because it's really a lot of changes. I know because I have already introduced several into my life and I would recommend it to anyone.
Very helpful for me was to learn about the power of the subconscious mind, I just started my personal development.
I don't like tips like this. They describe the things on high level of generalization, it's hard to disagree with them, but in fact you can't incorporate them into practice.
ReplyDeleteNew version of Ten Commandments? I prefer the old one. World is full of good advices. Life is too short to follow all of them. Especially that those golden thoughts becomes more and more plain prosaic and boring. Few hundred years ago Thomas A. Kempis wrote little bit longer version of golden advices called The Imitation of Christ, then it was Desiderata and now… this.
ReplyDeleteOne more thing - wasting time can be a real pleasure I almost forgot. My doctor tells me to waste more time not run through my life or stress will kill me. And I rather trust my doctor than this wise-pretending ideas.
Secret to happiness cannot be contents in ten simple rules. Thoes are very genral tips. Its all and nothing at time. Some of them may refer to me, but I dont percive them as a big flaw. Also it is much easier said then done.
ReplyDeleteVery nice presentation. In my opinion this is all very important for us. Everything that you mentioned we should stop doing to ourselves. Nevertheless, as it appears to me, it’s almost impossible to apply these rules in our lives. This is what is tricky for every single one of us. I mean, to obey the rules that make us better people and happier people. Lying to ourselves or blaming the others- this is very common as it usually happens subconsciously. Being honest to yourself requires a lot of bravery and determination. Not everyone can do this. When it comes to doing thing that we do not want to do i.e. wasting our time, this is also very often visible. People run somewhere, do not have time for themselves, do not know what their passions are and they waste their time. What is more, they convince themselves that this is the only possible way to live and it is always too late for them to change something for the better. This is all very human and understandable but very tricky to change. However, it is very useful to read such articles or presentations as yours just to make an attempt to improve the quality of our lives and even though imposing new rules on ourselves is not always successful we should still try to fight with our character flaws. How to do this? If we knew it then there would be nothing challenging in our lives.
ReplyDeleteWe do not always have a free time to follow those rules, yet some of them seems to be very useful and practical.
ReplyDeleteThere are some important statements that I keep repeating to myself in order to stay strong and positive, such as: 'Think positive!', 'You can do it!' or 'Do not worry!'.