Social life is among the most important things in our lives. Yet, there
are so many unwritten, sometimes even unspoken rules that shape our behavior.
But the worst thing that can happen is irreversible damage as an aftershock of
failing to comply or blindly going forward.
Below are set of rules (no particular order) that can help you achieve
what you want, when you want.
Rule No 1 - If you
want positive feedback, nod while talking
This is one of the most powerful, yet unutilized life hacks. It is a bit
manipulative, so use it at your own discretion and responsibility.
Getting positive feedback is something everyone wants as a result of a
conversation. It doesn’t matter if we want to promote a viewpoint, increase our
salary or make a sale, nodding while delivering a message can go a long way. It
makes the other person mimic what you do and nod along with you while you talk.
This reaction will start a positive feeling and give their brain a “hidden”
message to agree with what you’re saying.
Rule No 2 – Be
comfortable in any situation
Our brains are very complicated and secretive organs. We can even say
that the relationship we have with our brain is more of a hate or love one.
Although there are many unconscious “suggestions” from our brains, we fail to
understand most of them.
In most social situations, like meeting a new person, talking to your
manager etc. our brain tries to put us in a protective shell. It does not help us
much. Giving our brain command to feel like you already know the person you’re
talking to puts you at an advantage. It even increases chances of people
showing interest in what you’re talking about and/or even liking you.
Rule No 3 – Pay
attention to the way people set their feet
As You would imagine, interrupting someone while they’re in the middle
of a very important conversation can be annoying. It shows Your lack of social
skills as well as no social dynamics knowledge.
How can You differentiate whether or not You are welcomed to join the
conversation? Pay attention to their feet and bodies. When You approach a group
of talking people, if they turn only their bodies not feet, you are not
welcomed
Rule No 4 – Start Your
favors with “I need Your help”
It is obvious that we like to get others to do things for us. No one
likes rude people, but when you start a sentence with “I need your help”, in
most cases at least, people will accept you request. This happens because
people don’t feel comfortable for not helping out. They will feel
guilty. People like to help. In most cases…
Rule No 5 – Trouble
remembering people’s names? Repeat repeat repeat
Personally, I’m terrible at remembering names. Most of the time my brain
shuts down when people say their name. A lot of buddies, dudes, bros, friends
etc.
What can You do in such a situation? Ask our friend to introduce himself
or herself to the group? Awkward.
Remembering names is very important as we feel more important when
someone mentions our name. What you can do is start repeating their name in a
conversation. Example: “Hi, my name is Kasia -> Nice to meet You Kasia ->
So, Kasia, how do you know XXXXX?” and then try to repeat their name throughout
the conversation.
Rule No 6 – Want
someone to answer your question fully? Silence is key
Silence is a weapon. If someone finishes his/her answer without
providing full feedback just wait, stay silent and keep an eye contact. The
tension will grow and the pressure on the other person will grow as well. If it
goes for far to long, raise your eyebrows. It puts even bigger pressure on
them, but it shows that you are still interested in the answer. On the other
hand, it also shows that you are a person that usually gets what you want.
There You have it. Some of the psychological life hacks that will help you
in getting an advantage in social interactions. And as someone said sometime –
“Use your knowledge wisely”
Questions?
1)
What are your
life hacks?
2)
What is your
favorite color?
3)
What do you
think about dying rain forests?
4)
Were you
aware of such social interaction tweaks?
5)
Knowing
them, will you use them for Your advantage?
Soruces:
1) http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Observer/Pix/pictures/2012/6/29/1340992572775/self-help-graphic-007.jpg
2) http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0k7xz3dr31qarksao1_500.jpg
3) http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a4/Ballet_Feet_Fifth_Position.JPG
5) http://ucandostuff.ph/FrameWork/Upload/StepImage_c634290a-776e-46dc-98cc-2459fcb04674_big.jpg
6) http://www.nonprofithub.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/asking-for-donations-silence.jpg
7) http://www.highexistence.com/25-psychological-life-hacks-help-gain-advantage-social-situations/
Soruces:
1) http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Observer/Pix/pictures/2012/6/29/1340992572775/self-help-graphic-007.jpg
2) http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0k7xz3dr31qarksao1_500.jpg
3) http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a4/Ballet_Feet_Fifth_Position.JPG
5) http://ucandostuff.ph/FrameWork/Upload/StepImage_c634290a-776e-46dc-98cc-2459fcb04674_big.jpg
6) http://www.nonprofithub.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/asking-for-donations-silence.jpg
7) http://www.highexistence.com/25-psychological-life-hacks-help-gain-advantage-social-situations/
I think that in life you have to, not only focus on others happines but on also on yours. People are often sad and run away from their problems. Some of them don't pay enought attention to themselfs.
ReplyDeleteUsually that tent to put athers before themselfs are very often deeply unhappy.
I think that some of your questions are some kind of psychological hacks :D About question number 2 my favorite color is blue.
The next question about giving an opinion about rain forests I would say that I don't have an interesting answer.
As for the 4 question I think that most people are aware of these kinds of life tricks but not a lot of peopole remeber to use them.
In my whole life I try to use as many life tips as I can. Sometimes it is hard to use them but they are effective.
Kasia, thx for input. Some of those questions are here for a reason. They work better in real life, in regular conversation rather than written one. They can throw you off balance, which gives the other person a bit of leverage.
ReplyDeletePeople tend to put others before them. It might seem harsh, but we are like sheep. We are the most comfortable when we have support from others but we don't like to step in front of others when someone is to be blamed.
As for life hacks, don't you think that women have it easier? Isn't it more natural for you that for guys?
This is very interesting article. I didn't know about ‘nodding’ trick, but will try in real life. I don’t think for women it is easier. Rather other way around. Guys are doing it way more often, that’s what I know from my personal experience. Especially in business talks, we may observe a lot of hidden messages. For me it looks not natural, and being such manipulative person is not good. It is not only to influence other with those tricks, but also to avoid this influence made by other people to us.
ReplyDeleteOf course sometimes, especially when you want some answers it may be helpful. I don’t consider this as a ‘trick’, but sometimes it is just easier to ask many times, sometimes next question should have more details, until we get the answer we wanted. I consider people who are using such tricks all the time, as very manipulative and not real. World would be terrible if only such people exist.There is a lot of books about this subject. In general I heard about body language, eye contact, etc.
Karolina thx for input. From a perspective of a guy, most of us, don't have any social skills. There are examples out of contrary, but we are terrible at this :)
ReplyDeleteBusiness swirls around social skills. The product doesn't matter, people do.
Personally I hate when people repeat their question over and over. I just keep repeating the same answer or go silent and wait :P Passive agressive style ;)
In fact, the nodding trick can be useful not only when you're the speaker, but also when you're a listener, especially in school. If during the lecturer's speech you raise your head and nod every few minutes, it gives the impression that you listen very closely and with interest. I got some good grades just because the lecturer remembered me for being interested in their subject, even if I missed some classes or didn't have the best grades.
ReplyDeleteThe tricks I know mostly concern observing the reactions of others, like their pupils' width or the movement of their hands. However, the thing that's important in interpreting others' behavior is remembering that people are different and they reactions vary. Moreover, some wide-known "tricks" are in fact myths, like the famous 'spotting the liar' by their eyes' movement.
As to the gender question you asked in the comments, I'd say sometimes it can even be the opposite :) Woman are often reluctant to use such "hacks", because their behavior is always misinterpreted as flirting, which can be really troublesome.
And, if you really want to know, my favourite color is violet, and I'm concerned about the dying rain forests ;)
I have heard about all of this life hacks and even more of them. There is even one branch of science focused on this topic and it's called synergology. I'm really interested in this topic, because it's really helpful in creating/maintaining relations with other people. Thanks to that you can recondinse a lot more non-verbal message from other people for example you may know whether person is lying or not, whether person is interested in conversation or not and a lot of more. You can also thanks to that gain more influence on people. You can read more about in Allan Pease book "Język ciała jak czytać myśli ludzi z ich gestów".
ReplyDeleteGuys, thanks for your input.
ReplyDelete1) book - Język Ciała... - I'm definetly gonna read this. I need to locate a pdf of it first tho...
2) looking left right - I knew this. I think it's more to d with body language and how comfortable you seem in given situation.
3) Gender - I stand my post. From experience. One smile and every guy is going to do anything for her (it's very general, but still)
4) I've verified the feet movement when talking and it seems that it is working.
5) Nodding also works when you negotiate your grade ;)
@Patrycja, the nodding trick with the lecturers has worked for me too ;)
ReplyDeleteI heard about the arrangement of feet in the context of dating - supposedly the feet pointing towards you, show that the person is interested in you.
The dates are usually all about unspoken signals, so it is useful to know a couple of tricks that are helpful in reading those "messages" - Cezary, you are definitely right.
Yes, I will definitely use those hacks ! :)
@Cezary I have heard about these life hacks but not about all of these. But i don't believe that it can work in real life so i don't use them at all. Maybe i will try sometimes to use one of these.
ReplyDeleteMichal, what happened that you don't believe in them? Any experience in them not working?
ReplyDeleteSome lifehacks are very interesting and looks usefull. I very often use lifehack similar like in the article to remember people names. Similar because I modified it. Firsty I link new person with person who I know. Next I repeating that combination.
ReplyDeleteLifehack I know and often use is smiling. If you have bad mood, you smile and your mood will be happier.
I think that the most important in life is to live your own life and not others. I have three favourite colours red, balck and white. when it comes to the third question unfortunately I dont have enough knowledge to talk about the topic. I have a few tricks and tips to my own life which I try to use in certain times.
ReplyDeleteMy social life hack is to make someone say what I want to hear. It is done by using negation, because the firs reaction to everything you say is to say no to your question and than analyse what you were saying. So instead asking "Do you like me?" you should asked "You don't like me?" and the answer will be "I like you(negation, that what you wanted to hear), but...(potential analysis)" If you are well prepared to the conversation you should be successfully in most cases, but it does not work every time.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to find out so many interesting tricks. I think some of us do it sunsconciously, for example "nodding", when we're listeners. But I must say, some people do it with exaggeration, what looks strange and unreliable (it reminds me some of our politicians).
ReplyDeleteNo one likes complainers, so, my life hack is just smile, and when I conversate with someone I try to avoid grumble tone - it gives the impression of positive person, what is very important at first sight.