I would never get married for money. There are more moral ways to earn money than cheating. I hate cheating. I totally disrespect people who do sham marriages. If I ever get married it will be from love and because I will decide to try to stay forever with my wife. So far, I'm still looking :)
Well, for me marriage in terms of legislation (so not in terms of religion and, let's call it "self sense of romanticism") is not anything more than legal agreement, that results in specific legal consequences- on finance, inheritance, decision-making in case of absence of our partner. So if I ever really need it, I don't see any problem in legally marrying someone (I mean: sign the papers, do not mislead anyone). But I don't think I will ever cheat in order to extort money or something like this. I also don't think that sham marriage itself is something immoral, immoral is cheating. I like the idea of marrying only one person in your life, the one you love, and it's the case in getting married in for example christian religion. But even in our times marriage of love is a luxury of the rich and, keeping in mind changes made within 100 years, liberal societies.
Marriage is important to me. I cannot imagine myself in shoes of people who decide for sham marriage. I would feel like losing my own honor. I do not condemn them, they have own reasons or different values. Nevertheless they miss something pretty important. Marriage is only safe place to rise children and with children it becomes family. So for money or other minor gains sell such opportunity... or make it ...dirty (somehow)... this is sad.
And family is wonderful place to celebrate love to person you have chosen. It is more and more easy to get divorce nowadays. It is much easier to give up, start with someone new, than to care, devote, even maybe sacrifice own ideas and empty pride, or forgive.. to build love. It is pretty old-fashioned I know. But all we dreams about such love when we are young, and then we give up when first real conflict appears. We all thinks we will survive every storms together and afterwards we give up after first rain drop. I know many people who survived real storms, I admire them and I know its worth when I look in their children faces.
A sham marriage shows how little mean words : love, trust, support.Which is the basis of true marriage. In modern times more and more population becomes a model of marriages that will bring material benefits or social.
Unfortunately we still have marry in many laws are prohibited, but in Islamic cultures is "daily bread" is a relationship adult male with underage girls. Personally for me it is not accepted, because children need time to grow emotionally.
Sham marriages are a very common problem. I agree that it is not fair, people should not marry on the basis of money or other . However, I understand those who decide to do this because of their dramatic situation. Sometimes life makes you do things that you would have never thought of but there is no other way of getting out of a tough situation. People grapple with huge problems which validate such actions as marrying someone you do not love. When it comes to me, I must say that I would not like to do this but if I were stuck in a problem and there was no way of carrying it off, then of course I would decide to try it. Not because it seems fair, but because this is not something that makes anyone suffer or be hurt. Concluding, everything depends on the situation in which we are.
I understand that life can get people to different decisions. One moment can change our lives. Sometimes it is just that we want better for ourselves and our family. Sometimes it is just that we are forced to take some odd decisions that can sweep our lives. I am not in a position to assess whether such behavior is good or bad.
I would never marry someone with I didn't intend to stay with. I'm quite conservative in this topic. For me marrige is something "unbreakable" it is representation of true love and should be reserved only for people which are aware about what they are doing.
I agree with Mariusz_Szewczak_S8652 about that it is unbelievable and unactable for me that there are some countries that allow to marry a child.
The priest at my own weeding say something which in my opinion should be definition of marriage: "Today you die. To born again, but not for yourself, not for yours happinest but for yours spouse." That is why I would never "die" for money, for stranger, but only for person I realy love.
Temporary marriage with anybody is definitely bad idea for me. I can understand individual tragedy and bad relationship after few years between two people. Perhaps sometimes divorce is only way. Different story is when somebody decide to get married without sufficient knowledge and confidence in the future spouse. This is the same how to plan a divorce at very beginning in case if something will break in the future. “Would you decide to sham marriage if you could earn a quarter of a million dollars per day.” I think that it is a good question for barriers in ours life. If I agree I will move my independence barrier closer to trade me and my privacy. For me it is like prostitution, even if sex is not part of it. I remember when this whole thing was valid for the Poles who desperately traveled to the USA, Germany or UK. I was a kid but I did not forget my parents comments about other people, sometimes Our former neighbors, who in the early 90's went abroad to earn money. Sometimes they also tried to legalize their stay by a fake marriage, sometimes to do that they need to perform a fake divorce first in Poland. For me always when you can’t live as you want is tragedy. It start when adult children must live in home with parents and continue when you explain all your life decisions that you have to do something, you do not want to, but still do it because it is easier.
You never know in what situation you will find yourself in life, so never say never. At this point however, I cannot imagine why would I get sham marriage. Anyway, there is another, most popular type of sham marriages and sham relationships, that author of the presentation didnt mention. Its (womans mostly) getting married or involved in relationship with otehr person, who is rich and can provide his partner with luxorius lifestyle. While some types of sham marrigies can be morally justify, this one is always disgraceful. Its based on faking love, and it is worst type of prostitution.
I believe that if you want to get married, it should be out of ‘pure love’. I cannot imagine living and sharing my life with someone that I do not love, and being married only for money or for Visa. However, the truth is that I am lucky, because I do not have to cope with many problems as people who think that sham marriage is their only option.
I would never get married for money. There are more moral ways to earn money than cheating. I hate cheating. I totally disrespect people who do sham marriages. If I ever get married it will be from love and because I will decide to try to stay forever with my wife. So far, I'm still looking :)
ReplyDeleteWell, for me marriage in terms of legislation (so not in terms of religion and, let's call it "self sense of romanticism") is not anything more than legal agreement, that results in specific legal consequences- on finance, inheritance, decision-making in case of absence of our partner. So if I ever really need it, I don't see any problem in legally marrying someone (I mean: sign the papers, do not mislead anyone). But I don't think I will ever cheat in order to extort money or something like this.
ReplyDeleteI also don't think that sham marriage itself is something immoral, immoral is cheating.
I like the idea of marrying only one person in your life, the one you love, and it's the case in getting married in for example christian religion. But even in our times marriage of love is a luxury of the rich and, keeping in mind changes made within 100 years, liberal societies.
Marriage is important to me. I cannot imagine myself in shoes of people who decide for sham marriage. I would feel like losing my own honor. I do not condemn them, they have own reasons or different values. Nevertheless they miss something pretty important. Marriage is only safe place to rise children and with children it becomes family. So for money or other minor gains sell such opportunity... or make it ...dirty (somehow)... this is sad.
ReplyDeleteAnd family is wonderful place to celebrate love to person you have chosen. It is more and more easy to get divorce nowadays. It is much easier to give up, start with someone new, than to care, devote, even maybe sacrifice own ideas and empty pride, or forgive.. to build love. It is pretty old-fashioned I know.
But all we dreams about such love when we are young, and then we give up when first real conflict appears. We all thinks we will survive every storms together and afterwards we give up after first rain drop. I know many people who survived real storms, I admire them and I know its worth when I look in their children faces.
A sham marriage shows how little mean words : love, trust, support.Which is the basis of true marriage.
ReplyDeleteIn modern times more and more population becomes a model of marriages that will bring material benefits or social.
Unfortunately we still have marry in many laws are prohibited, but in Islamic cultures is "daily bread" is a relationship adult male with underage girls.
Personally for me it is not accepted, because children need time to grow emotionally.
Sham marriages are a very common problem. I agree that it is not fair, people should not marry on the basis of money or other . However, I understand those who decide to do this because of their dramatic situation. Sometimes life makes you do things that you would have never thought of but there is no other way of getting out of a tough situation. People grapple with huge problems which validate such actions as marrying someone you do not love. When it comes to me, I must say that I would not like to do this but if I were stuck in a problem and there was no way of carrying it off, then of course I would decide to try it. Not because it seems fair, but because this is not something that makes anyone suffer or be hurt. Concluding, everything depends on the situation in which we are.
ReplyDeleteI understand that life can get people to different decisions. One moment can change our lives. Sometimes it is just that we want better for ourselves and our family. Sometimes it is just that we are forced to take some odd decisions that can sweep our lives.
ReplyDeleteI am not in a position to assess whether such behavior is good or bad.
I would never marry someone with I didn't intend to stay with. I'm quite conservative in this topic. For me marrige is something "unbreakable" it is representation of true love and should be reserved only for people which are aware about what they are doing.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Mariusz_Szewczak_S8652 about that it is unbelievable and unactable for me that there are some countries that allow to marry a child.
The priest at my own weeding say something which in my opinion should be definition of marriage: "Today you die. To born again, but not for yourself, not for yours happinest but for yours spouse." That is why I would never "die" for money, for stranger, but only for person I realy love.
Below I paste my comment from uwb2:
ReplyDeleteTemporary marriage with anybody is definitely bad idea for me. I can understand individual tragedy and bad relationship after few years between two people. Perhaps sometimes divorce is only way. Different story is when somebody decide to get married without sufficient knowledge and confidence in the future spouse. This is the same how to plan a divorce at very beginning in case if something will break in the future.
“Would you decide to sham marriage if you could earn a quarter of a million dollars per day.”
I think that it is a good question for barriers in ours life. If I agree I will move my independence barrier closer to trade me and my privacy. For me it is like prostitution, even if sex is not part of it.
I remember when this whole thing was valid for the Poles who desperately traveled to the USA, Germany or UK. I was a kid but I did not forget my parents comments about other people, sometimes Our former neighbors, who in the early 90's went abroad to earn money. Sometimes they also tried to legalize their stay by a fake marriage, sometimes to do that they need to perform a fake divorce first in Poland. For me always when you can’t live as you want is tragedy. It start when adult children must live in home with parents and continue when you explain all your life decisions that you have to do something, you do not want to, but still do it because it is easier.
You never know in what situation you will find yourself in life, so never say never. At this point however, I cannot imagine why would I get sham marriage.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, there is another, most popular type of sham marriages and sham relationships, that author of the presentation didnt mention. Its (womans mostly) getting married or involved in relationship with otehr person, who is rich and can provide his partner with luxorius lifestyle. While some types of sham marrigies can be morally justify, this one is always disgraceful. Its based on faking love, and it is worst type of prostitution.
I believe that if you want to get married, it should be out of ‘pure love’. I cannot imagine living and sharing my life with someone that I do not love, and being married only for money or for Visa. However, the truth is that I am lucky, because I do not have to cope with many problems as people who think that sham marriage is their only option.
ReplyDelete