Children who fulfill their parents’ dreams
Not long time ago, on the 6th of May, Sia had premiered a music video for her song
called Chandelier.
The whole world spoke about talented Maddie Ziegler. Of course combined with
such an amazing young and skilled dancer as well as such a strong
voice, the video was nominated to the 2014 MTV
Video Music Awards for the 'Video of the Year' and the 'Best Choreography'
awards. Everyone was asking about Maddie and her dance skills but was it her
decision or she was just fulfilling her mother’s
dreams?
Dance Moms
All of those kids started their dance journey
early in their life at the age of 5 or 6. They
spend most of their time at the dance studio. They were trained by Abby Lee a
cofounder of the studio. It is not an easy job. Most of the hours they spend stretching
and doing exercises. In fact some of the moms need to quit their job to
spend more time with their kids in the
studio. The life of a little dancer is full of rejection. Maddie’s parents are divorced, allegedly because dance got
in the way of their marriage. Holly previously had worked as a school
principal. When she completed her doctorate in education she left her job to
support her daughter at dance. It is not only a hard decision for the moms but
for the kids too. Some of the moms decided to have their children homeschooled so that they can have more time for dance. The most pressure put on
those children started with the show “ Dance Moms “ which focused the most not on the dance, but mothers’ drama. With this TV show a lot of questions were
raised about the dreams of the kids. Is this what they really wanted to do or it
was their crazy moms’ idea.
Everyone is replaceable
The most shocking thing in this show was how
they treat children. They have a lot of pressure to cope with
because the main trainer tells them without
hesitation that they can be replaced at any time. Of course she also said
good things but the worst thing is what she thinks of them . The main
trainer invented a pyramid system where the best dancer is always at the top and the worst at
the bottom. Of course only one of her favorite dancers
is at the top and the others are always
criticized. In 2014 two of the dancers abandoned the show because their mom
fought with the trainer and because of bad psychical condition of her children.
This is not the only show
In fact there are more TV shows about kids who
want to fulfill their parents’ dreams. The next
one of the most controversial show is “Toddlers & Tiaras “. In this show
mothers prepare their little kids for beauty contests around the States. Of course they want their child to win to
satisfy their unfilled dreams. Most of
children do that to please their parents and others to get the title of the most beautiful girl in the world and
win the prize. Only a few do that just for fun. Most of the parents treats this
pageant competition as a part of their jobs. What happens next when their
children grow up ? Really hard to say about them but some of them continue a
pageant journey with their own children.
Question:
1. What do you think about kids on TV?
2. Are there similar competitions in Poland?
2. Are there similar competitions in Poland?
Sources:
http://nymag.com/thecut/2012/11/child-pageant-star.html
http://www.backstage.com/news/real-dance-moms-respond-to-dance-moms-controversy
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sue-scheff/grownup-bullying-and-mons_b_5060283.html
I saw many times both “Dance moms” and “Toddlers & Tiaras” shows. Examples shown in this tv series are extremely scary. I am very sad for those kids and that they have such parents. At some point parents get more involved then they should. It is obvious that small children do not even know what they want to do in the future. The role of parent should be to show many possibilities and encourage their offspring to find their happiness or maybe even profession in one of hobbies.
ReplyDeleteThe competition is bigger between parents then it is between kids. It becomes more important what their's son or daughter have achieved then what they do. A lot of people do not let other people live their way. Later they will be very unhappy and afraid of trying finding another hobby. The worst thing is that those beauty competitions are more important then happiness of family. What is interesting parents are charged for the participation in those beauty competitions. All ball dresses, costumes, gadgets, hair dresser and make-up specialist cost fortune.
In Poland I did not heard about such competitions, however I know from my personal experience how it works. No matter what discipline it is, there is needed huge effort to achieve success.
Few months ago I heard the interview with parents of Jerzy Janowicz where they described what was the effort to become successful tennis player.
http://gwizdek24.se.pl/tenis/jerzy-janowicz-historia-prawdziwa-jak-zaczynal-kim-sa-rodzice-jaki-ma-numer-buta_289076.html
I can imagine that some of those kids really enjoy those competitions and trainings, by in most cases it is obvious, that kids are simply victims of their parents frustrations. Frustrations caused by not only unfulfilled dreams from childhood but possibly also connected with work competition and theirs parents demands from the past.
ReplyDeleteKarolina made an important observation- it’s business. Someone is making a lot of money on those beauty contests.
I have an impression, that people in Poland are less vulnerable for this “madness”. In our country, the cult of beauty and celebrities began not so long ago: in the 90s – that may be the cause of this kind of shows not being popular here, (yet!)
Interestingly, Karolina brought the example of positive parents’ support that was stimulating the child’s career development. This is the right kind of effort from which the child and not the parents benefit.
1. What do you think about kids on TV?
ReplyDeleteHoney BooBoo... This is what happens if you let idiots have kids, and their kids have kids. But then, on the other hand we wouldn't have things like Sesame Street of Teletubbies - which are great shows with so much depth and knowledge.
2. Are there similar competitions in Poland?
Elections to the parlament in Poland are very similar. Participants brains of those kids, they are as fussy as those kids, they demands even more than those kids and cry a lot then they loose. Pure comedy in the making.
As for the comment of Karolina "however I know from my personal experience how it works" - care to elaborate?
Well it is true that some children own their success because of their parents. They push them to work hard and they succed later. Sometimes parents put pressure on children becuase when they were young they didn't have conditions to fulfil they interes. Now they want their children to fulfill their hobbies.
ReplyDeleteI like armandstanczak comment about parlament election :D I think that if in the parlament there were truelly kids it will be much better :D
Due to Armandstanczak's question my answer is that my hobby is one of art's areas which I am developing from 14 years till now and hopefully it will last long. During so many years it was so hard to stand not only competition but mainly mental stress caused in my case not by parents but by teachers and instructors. I have heard more then thousand times that there are hundreds other people waiting for my place, that I am not good enough or too old and so on. My friends seeing how it works asked me many times why I did not quit. So I replied that is, because I love my hobby and now I used to how it works. However knowing all of that I will never let my kids pass through such experience and I will take much more care how teachers will treat them.
ReplyDeleteI would like to share my opinion about moms/parents pushing their children, to do things they want to.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion it has its dark and bright side. The dark side you have presented in you post :) And I totally agree with you. Those children don't have a "proper" childhood, they don't go to school (due to homeschooling), what is awful, because social skills and cooperating with other people is extremely important these days. In fact you cannot only be dancer in your life - you have to have social life to be happy, find friends, raise a family - these are extremely important moments in our lives.
Besides it, dancing or any other type of sport requires lots of time and training, unfortunetaly our bodies are cannot always be in the best condition, it is simply impossible to be fit all the time, to keep the physical condition for a lifetime. Actually athletes have lots of problems with health and need to finish their careers when they are 30.
But there is always a bright side! Without moms or parents pushing their children to do all of this things when they are young it would be impossible for them to reach a championship, when they would do it amateurishly (not so intense) or if they star with the same intensity but for example when they are few years older.
If you want to be the best in something you have to sacrifice all your life for it.
In my opinion talent shows for kids aren’t a good idea. I watched a little of “Toddlers & Tiaras” and “Honey BooBoo show” (not saying that this one is a talent show but it’s in the genre). I feel like this is the lowest kind of entertainment you can find on television. People become really competitive because it’s a show and I pity the children and their obsessive parents. There probably are people like that in reality but they are obviously harming their kids.
ReplyDeleteBut I don’t think it’s wrong to develop a talent from a very young age. The best way to become a professional musician or a dancer is to start when you’re 5-6 years old . As a small child and through some of my teenage years I was going to a music school (additionally to the normal one) and I had never felt that it was something horrible. I was glad I could play musical instruments and of course my parents had to remind me to practice sometimes but I consider it a great experience in my life and a part of my education. I think that a responsible parent will try to develop a passion/an interest in their child and work on their talent but I don’t think that this means the kid shouldn’t have free time or a say in the matter. It’s important to try many things as a child so you can find out early on what do you like or what you’re good in. Even if it doesn’t turn out to be a life career it can become a hobby. Parents just should be there to encourage their kids and provide the possibility of developing a talent and then support their kids in whatever choice they make.
1. I think that children shouldn't participate in TV shows. They are too young and they don't think maturely. At that age they should study at school and not dance on TV. After ten years such a person is not able to read, write, and so on!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't take the children their childhood!!!!!
A great example can be Justin Bieber. He surely doesn't think, doesn't read, and doesn't know anything about math. He can't cope with everyday tasks.
2. There aren't many competitions like that in Poland. The one example that comes to mind is Mam Talent. It isn't a program strictly for children, but it doesn't have any age restrictions. Children of any age cann come out on the stage and make fools of themselves.
Unfortunately, it is often that children are "encouraged" by their moms to show off in TV.
My opinion is the fusion of the comments posted before; I strongly agree with Karolina Wieczorek's sentence "The role of parent should be to show many possibilities and encourage their offspring to find their happiness or maybe even profession in one of hobbies".
ReplyDeleteParents should encourage children, not MAKE THEM do things they want; however, some fields require practice from early age (playing instruments, dancing ballet, some sports) and if the child is eager to learn, the parents should encourage them to practice (like Paulina said).
I've seen a few episodes of 'Toddlers & Tiaras' and I think it's horryfying; some of the kids were crying and didn't want to enter the competition, and their parents made them do it anyway; besides, I think that it's really wrong to teach young girls that their appearance is the most important thing and not their character.
In a way I agree with Karolina Wieczorek. If I had kids I definitly would like to know how teachers treat them.
ReplyDeleteI agree the most with Natalia Smoczyńska comment. To achieve something I have to sacrfice something for it in echxange for example time.
I also agree with Paulina Stanek and Tomasz Gelo opinions about kids in talent shows. I think that they are too young for it and there is too much pressure that they don't give good results.
This sentece which Patrycja Marcinak emphasize is so true: "The role of parent should be to show many possibilities and encourage their offspring to find their happiness or maybe even profession in one of hobbies".
It is good to develop a talent from at very young age but I'm not sure about pushing kids to tv. All of that critisism, comments and fame can destroy their psyhic.
In my opinion it's wrong for children to fullfill parents dreams, while they do not enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteBut if there were no kids on TV, how would we show and express some topic where children are involved?
For sure, all of young kids are on Tv becasue they parents want it, but sometimes it might be a start for worldwide star. Most of them started carrier when they were young
2nd question: A lot of children take their part in TV where they can show some talents. People laugh because there is a sterotype that when you are really young and you will sing, for sure you will score "4x YES".
ReplyDeleteOf course, kids are supported by lovely parents.
Mentioned shows like "Dance moms" and "Toddlers & Tiaras" are extremly terrible for me. I don't understand how parents can harm their children from an early age and tell them to compete with other. Children at this age should be doing this for fun, because they like it and not for the ambition of their parents.
ReplyDelete1. I agree at 100% with Marcin Konarski.
ReplyDelete2. I can't say anything about programs in Poland because I stopped watching TV since 2005.
In Poland kids perform in program "mam talent", polish edition of "Britain's Got Talent", but it's not the same as "Toddlers & Tiaras" show.
ReplyDeleteThese parents are using kids as a means of their own fads, maybe it's motivated by unrealized dreams, or maybe it is about money? Whatever it is, it's horrible. Thank God, I never heard about competition like "Toddlers & Tiaras" in our country.
ReplyDeleteIs television a good place to find talent? In my oppinion no. Of course you can show the skills of the child. But forcing them to act in TV shows - it is exaggeration. In my opinion, talent is located in the schools of art. Children on TV is just a opportunity to earn money. I think there is a lot of competitions where we also can find talented children.
ReplyDeleteWhy force children to do something?
1. In my opinion, there can be some kids that really enjoy what they do in these kind of programs, but majority just fulfill dreams of their mothers, or even just do these things just to catch their parents attention, which is actually upsetting.
ReplyDelete2. Fortunatelly, most of these competitions are not as popular as in other countries. On the other way, polish people have tendency to copy from other places like US or UK, so I think it is just a matter of time when in Poland we will have, for example, pageant competitons, which is horrible. Morover, we can observe that even Polish kids have got more and more extra classes and competitions after school, so they even cannot have time for themselves and to be just kids.
I absolutely agree with most of you especially with Paulina, cause I had similar experience with combining two schools at the same time the regular one and the music school. And even if I moaned sometimes that I don't want to practice piano any more (cause I was young and didn't understand some things at a time) I truly ejoyed it and I still do. Also, I'm truly greatful now to my mum that she pushed me to finish what I have started, it was a great lesson for life and I wish it to every child.
ReplyDeleteI really despite those kind of shows presented, it's just awful and I can't imagine what those parents have in their heads to treat their children like that.